


The Feather

by angelus2hot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Wings, Community: spn_reversebang, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Soulmates, Wingfic, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: For an angel giving a feather to their partner isn't just proof of their love and commitment. It actually means so much more.





	The Feather

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** The Feather  
>  **Fandom:** Supernatural  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** Gadreel/Sam Winchester  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word Count:** 7,060  
>  **Summary:** For an angel giving a feather to their partner isn't just proof of their love and commitment. It actually means so much more.  
>  **A/N:** written for the gorgeous art by jayi for spn_reversebang  
>  Art Masterpost: [tumblr](http://nonexistenz.tumblr.com/post/168240187732), [AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12925974)

[](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/angelus2hot/9778281/888951/888951_800.jpg)  
made by the incredibly talented jayi

Gadreel stood in the center of the room his head thrown back and his eyes closed in prayer. He didn't know how long he had been standing there; it could have been hours, days or even mere minutes. It didn't matter to him either way. Because time itself usually didn't mean much to him, he had an infinity of it after all but now things were different for him. Even though he could count every hour, minute and second down to the four years, eleven months and twenty-nine days that had passed since the first time he had laid eyes on one Sam Winchester; Gadreel knew without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how much time had passed it wasn't enough of it, it would never be enough. And he wanted more.

From the moment he had slipped inside of Sam to heal the dying hunter Gadreel had known there was something special about the man. Something even an angel like him couldn't help but be in awe of. But there was no way he could have known then how much Sam would come to mean to him. The truth was he wouldn’t let himself know. 

After everything he had done Gadreel had never thought he would stand a chance with Sam. _So why go after something when he knew it was doomed to failure?_ The truth was he wouldn't have ever let himself consider it especially not after everything he had done to the hunter. He knew he couldn't let himself get his hopes up. But he should have realized if anyone would understand why he had done the things he had and forgive him for it, that it would be Sam. 

Despite everything that had happened, that he had made happen and against all odds Sam had taken a chance on him and now they were just a day away from their five year anniversary. Gadreel still had a hard time believing it was true. Even though he was happier than he had ever been in his whole existence Gadreel couldn't help but be a little... he didn't want to say much less think the word petrified but... He wanted their big day to be special, something that the both of them would remember forever. And he already knew how he wanted to make it happen. He wanted to give Sam something he had never thought he would want to give to anyone, something that would prove how much the younger Winchester meant to him. But he didn't know if he could or even if he should. Sam Winchester deserved the best and Gadreel knew he was a far cry from being it. He wasn’t even close.

It wasn’t that he was scared of how he felt. Gadreel knew that was it. He didn’t doubt his feelings for one second. He knew he was in love with Sam Winchester, that he loved him more than anything, and he was just as sure his hunter returned his feelings. That wasn't even in question. But he wanted to be with Sam forever; not just the happily ever after, till death do us part kind but the kind of forever that transcends the mortal coil. He wanted their love to last through the ages. The problem was as an angel there was only one true way for that to happen, a certain angelic tradition that would entwine their souls together for all eternity. _But the question that plagued him wasn't should he do it but was it something that Sam would want?_

A soft sigh escaped Gadreel and echoed around the room as he opened his eyes and began to pace the hardwood floor. The trouble was that what the angelic tradition called for wasn't a problem for most angels, it wouldn't have been for him either eons ago but now.... well, he just wasn’t quite the angel he used to be. In most ways that was a good thing; loving Sam and being loved in return had tempered him, calmed him and thrilled him in ways he could never have imagined. While he didn’t want to go back and be the way he was before, he just wished he could look the part of his former self and have all of his glory at least for a little while. _Was that really too much for him to ask?_ Rueful laughter filled the room. After all the things he had done it probably was too much to ask.

With his chaotic thoughts swirling in his mind, Gadreel ran his hands through his short hair as he continued to pace the length of the room and back again. _Who would've thought love would be this hard?_ Gadreel's snort echoed around him. But he knew it wasn't the love part that was hard, at least not for him. Falling in love with Sam had been the easiest thing he had ever done. It was finding his way to forever that was giving him trouble. A snort of derision escaped him. If he was honest with himself Gadreel knew it wasn’t finding his way but trying to find the courage to go after forever that was the problem.

It was quite obvious that he wasn't going to be able to figure this out on his own, he needed help. _Maybe he should talk with someone._ He could always summon Castiel to him but he knew his brother was probably busy with Dean and he wouldn’t want to disturb him. Another sigh escaped him as he stopped pacing, leaned against the nearest wall and closed his eyes once more. Gadreel knew he didn't have much time left to figure it out especially not if he wanted to do it for their anniversary. He ran his hands through his hair again. _What was he going to do?_

"You wanted to see me." 

Gadreel opened his eyes to see Castiel standing in front of him. "I’m sorry. I didn't mean to call you, Castiel."

Castiel inclined his head but didn’t comment on the half-truth. There wouldn’t be a point to it. He knew Gadreel had wanted to talk to him. "I'm here now." He could feel the other angel's inner turmoil from where he stood. “You might as well tell me the problem.”

“Have you given Dean a feather?” The question fell from his lips before he could stop it. He had meant to phrase it a little more delicately.

The angel blinked in surprise. _That was a very personal question. One that he hadn’t talked about with anyone including Dean. And quite frankly it was none of the other angel’s business._ “No.” The tone of Castiel’s voice left no doubt he wouldn’t entertain any more questions on that particular subject. “Why?”

This was it, the moment to get it all out in the open. Gadreel swallowed hard before he took a deep breath and admitted softly, "I want to give Sam one of my feathers."

 _Whoa._ Castiel’s eyes widened. Of all the things Gadreel could have said this was the last thing Castiel had expected. He wouldn’t have thought Gadreel was the forever kind of angel. Besides he had known Dean a lot longer than Gadreel had known Sam and he still hadn’t given Dean one of his feathers yet. Not that he hadn’t thought about it, of course. It was on his mind every single day. But something had always given him pause. Maybe it was the fighting demons, angels, etc.. but it had never felt like the right time. He ignored that part deep inside of him that didn’t believe a word. There was no way he was admitting even to himself that he was afraid, after everything he had done over the years that Dean would turn it down. But this wasn’t about him and Dean. He shook his head. “Are you sure?” At the dark look that crossed Gadreel’s face Cas quickly added, “I only meant that you know this is a serious commitment and one that can not be taken lightly.” He felt it was only prudent to offer the reminder. “Once done it can not be undone.”

His voice was gruff as he whispered, “I have never been more sure of anything. He’s the one.” Gadreel stared at Castiel as he admitted, “ I want forever with him.” 

Although Castiel was thrilled for Gadreel still didn’t see the reason for all of his brother’s torment. “Does Sam feel the same?”

He nodded. “I believe so.” Or at least Gadreel hoped he did.

His brow wrinkled as a look of confusion crossed his face. Castiel was still at a loss. “Then what’s stopping you?”

 _Was he kidding?_ Gadreel tried not to glare at the other angel. He knew Castiel was only trying to help. “You’ve seen my feathers, Castiel.”

The angel shrugged, copying one of Dean’s gestures. “So they’re a little imperfect. What matters most is...”

But before Cas could finish speaking Gadreel was already shaking his head. “Calling my feathers imperfect would be a major understatement at best.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice. “I don’t think I have a one that isn’t scorched, bent or has some kind of damage to it.” With a defeated sigh he added, “Or at least I haven’t found one yet. And believe me I’ve looked.”

He couldn’t help but empathize with the sadness and worry in Gadreel’s voice. But Castiel was also positive that it wouldn’t matter to Sam at all. “I don’t think that’s going to matter to Sam. Especially not if he knows what it means.”

If only he could be as sure as Castiel sounded. “I haven’t told him anything about our traditions or...”

Castiel’s eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline in utter shock. Usually couples, even ones between an angel and a human had shared at least some of their traditions with each other by now. “You’ve been together for almost five years. How, in all that time have you not told Sam anything at all?”

“Sam knows the basics but not the more binding traditions that we...” He hated to admit that he hadn’t shared as much with Sam as he should have but in truth when they were together the last thing on his mind was discussing angel traditions. With his voice full of accusation Gadreel spoke through clenched teeth. “Have you told Dean? After all you’ve known him a lot longer than I have Sam.”

“Uh...” Castiel really hated being put on the spot. Besides his relationship with Dean was on a whole different level then anything either of them was used to. “We weren’t speaking of my relationship with Dean.” He effectively closed that subject and before the other angel could say anything to try and open it again Castiel quickly added, “You need to talk to Sam.”

“But what if...?”

It was all Castiel could do to keep the frustration out of his voice. It seemed as if Gadreel was trying to make it harder than it had to be. _Why would he want to do that?_ “Then you will just have to explain it to him.”

"Sam deserves the best." Gadreel muttered beneath his breath. And after everything his hunter had been through, and the things he himself had done Gadreel just couldn’t help but think that his damaged feathers weren’t anything that Sam could or should ever want and especially not forever. No matter how hard he tried Gadreel couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of his tone as he softly added, "Not something broken beyond repair."

There had to be more to this other than just the damaged feathers. After a few minutes of thought Castiel’s eyes lit with understanding. “Is this really about the state of your feathers or are you just worried Sam won’t accept it, damaged or not because of who you were?”

“I...uh...”

Castiel rolled his eyes just like he had seen Dean do so many times before. “After all the time you and Sam have spent together, shouldn’t you know what’s in his heart by now?”

“He says that he will love me forever.” The doubt was almost a physical thing that hung in the air between them. “But forever is a very long time.”

Once again Castiel shook his head in exasperation. He couldn’t believe Gadreel was actually entertaining doubts. He’d seen the way Sam and Gadreel were together and no two people were more deserving of the term soulmates than those two... except of course him and Dean. “You should have more faith in Sam.” 

“I do.” Gadreel whispered as he stared at Castiel. He had believed in Sam more than the hunter believed in himself but that wasn't the issue. The problem was Gadreel was worried he didn't deserve Sam. "I have more faith in Sam than in anything on this Earth but I'm not sure if I..." He took a deep breath and rushed to admit, "I'm not sure if I deserve forever with him."

Before Castiel could answer a tingle began to slowly dance its way across his spine and his lips curled into a secretive smile. Dean was calling him. Even though Dean had given him a cell phone the angel couldn’t help but prefer this way of communication. He didn’t get as much enjoyment from a cell. Another tingle went through him. This one had a little more force behind it. Dean was getting impatient. He would have to hurry. 

If forever was based on what they deserved than Gadreel wasn't the only one in the room who had something to worry about. Castiel knew after everything he had done there was no way he deserved Dean but he wasn't about to let that stop him. He was going to do everything in his power to hold onto Dean... forever.

Castiel laid a comforting hand on Gadreel’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "This isn't about what you deserve but about what you want, what you need." He looked deep into the other angel's eyes. "So, tell me brother, do you really want forever with Sam?" At Gadreel's emphatic nod he continued, “Then talking about this with me isn’t going to help you. I’m not the one who can tell you what you want, what you need to hear. I would suggest you talk to Sam sooner rather than later.” 

“But...” 

Before Gadreel could finish Cas shook his head and repeated, “Talk to Sam.” He squeezed the angel’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. “You may find that your worries about your feathers and anything else are completely groundless.”

A soft sigh floated between them. “I wish that were true.”

It was all Castiel could do to keep from smacking the other angel. He realized it was uncharacteristic of him but there was only so much he could take. “You won’t know until you try.”

With every part of him Gadreel hoped Castiel was right. He didn't think he would be able to handle if if he wasn't. Now he just needed to find a way to talk to Sam first before his older brother found out. "Do you think you could keep this to..."

“I won’t say a thing.” And without another word Castiel disappeared.

As Gadreel stood in the center of the room staring at the spot where Castiel had stood it slowly began to dawn on him that the other angel really was right. If he wanted forever with Sam he was going to have to go after it regardless of his insecurities about his imperfect feathers or anything else for that matter. It would be worth whatever he had to do to spend forever with Sam.

 

 

"What took you so long, Cas?" The angel had barely appeared in the room before the words were out of Dean's mouth. "The grill is ready for the burgers. Sam had to run an errand but he said he would be back in plenty of time. Did you remember to tell Gadreel...?" He lost his whole train of thought as he stared down at Cas' hands. _Where was his pie?_ "Did you get the pie?" 

"I..." As Dean fired off the questions in rapid succession Castiel glanced down at his empty hands. _He had forgotten the pie._ "I'm sorry, Dean. I forgot."

 _How could he have forgotten the pie?_ But before Dean could begin to complain there was something in Castiel's voice that gave him pause. "What's wrong?" Before Cas could try and evade the question Dean added, "And don't bother trying to deny it. I know you, Cas. Not only can I hear it in your voice but it’s written all over your face."

He started to raise his hands to his face to see if he could feel what was written there before it dawned on him Dean wasn't being literal. With a sigh Castiel let his arms fall to his sides as he admitted, "Gadreel accidentally summoned me to him."

Dean's brow raised. "Accidentally?" _Accident or not that was still no excuse for him to forget the pie._

The angel shrugged, another one of Dean’s gestures he hadn’t known he had picked up. "That's what he said." 

"Why did he want to see....?" Dean let his sentence trail off as a horrible thought occurred to him. "Is he breaking up with Sam?" Anger began to boil beneath the surface. No one broke his brother’s heart not even a dick angel, especially not that dick angel. No matter how much Sam loved the guy if he hurt Sam he would kick his ass all the way back to where he came from. "I swear, Cas if he hurts..."

Castiel stepped closer and placed a hand on Dean's chest. "He's not breaking up with Sam. Quite the opposite actually."

A look of confusion began to spread across Dean’s face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The angel shook his head. "I can't tell you. I promised Gadreel I wouldn't say anything." At the pouty look that began to appear on Dean's face, Castiel knew there would be no way he would be able to resist Dean. He could already feel himself wanting to give in. That pouty lip was his undoing every single time and Dean knew it. Castiel reached out and tugged gently on his hunter's bottom lip. "I can promise you that Gadreel has no plans to ever hurt Sam. You're brother on the other hand could hurt him." Although, Castiel didn't really think Dean's brother would ever hurt Gadreel, not after everything they had been through there were no guarantees.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean scowled at Castiel. He didn't like being confused and he was getting more and more confused by the minute.

He knew Dean wanted assurances. He just wanted to make sure his brother's heart didn't get broken but there was nothing Castiel could do at the moment. He'd made a promise and his hands were tied. "The only thing I can or will tell you other than that is that whatever may happen between them it will probably be a tradition."

His brow wrinkled in confusion. That wasn't helpful at all. Dean had more questions than answers. "What kind of tradition? And what about...?"

Cas shook his head. He didn’t want to have this conversation now. Not just because he had promised Gadreel but Castiel knew if they continued to talk he would tell Dean exactly how he felt and that he wanted forever with him. But Dean deserved better than a hurried conversation before the others arrived, he deserved romance with declarations of unending love sprinkled in and Castiel was determined to make sure he got it. 

“There are ways of making you tell me what I want to know, Cas.” Although Dean had tried to make it sound like a threat it ended up sounding suspiciously like a wicked promise instead.

Once again shivers danced up and down the angel’s spine before slowly coming to a stop low in his body. A silent groan escaped Castiel. He had to get out of there before he told Dean whatever he wanted to know just as long as he didn’t stop the sweet, sweet torment he was subjecting him to.

"I'll tell you all about it later." Cas promised hastily before he changed the subject. "I'll go get the pie while you start the burgers.” If there was one thing he knew about his hunter, pie always mollified him; at least for a while. “Apple and cherry?"

Dean nodded his head. He knew when he was being handled but he went along with it anyway. After all it was pie. Besides eventually they would talk about it. As he watched as Castiel began to disappear he whispered softly in warning, "We will talk about this later, Cas."

Cas flashed him a smile full of promises before he whispered, "You can count on it, Dean." Before he disappeared completely.

“I’m going to hold you to it.” Dean muttered beneath his breath just before he tossed his head back and yelled at the ceiling, “And don’t forget to let Gadreel know about the cookout.”

 

Determination flowed from Gadreel as he walked the human way into the bunker. This was the moment, he was going to talk to Sam and give him his.... He couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment that shot through his body as he saw Dean coming towards him with a beer in each hand.

“Hey.” Dean held out the cold drink as he greeted him with a smile. “Sam’s in the other room talking with Cas. And I’m headed back outside to finish up the grilling.” At the confused look on Gadreel’s face Dean continued, “We’re having a cookout. Didn’t Cas tell you when he saw you earlier?” The minute the words had left his mouth Dean had felt Gadreel stiffen beside him and there wasn't a doubt in his mind why he had. Dean didn’t know anything about the big secret but from the way the angel was acting it must really be something important. He rushed to reassure him. “You can relax. Cas didn’t tell me anything about what’s going on. He just said that he had run into you. I only meant did he come back by your place on his pie run to let you know about it?”

Breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding escaped from Gadreel in a rush of relief as he accepted the beer. It wasn’t that he minded if Dean knew what he was planning he just thought it might be better if the first one to know was Sam.

The angel shook his head. “No. He must have forgotten.”

“That sounds like him.” A rueful sigh escaped Dean. “He’s forgetting an awful lot lately.” He couldn’t help but wonder why but now wasn’t the time to worry about what was going on with Cas. He brought the bottle to his lips and took a long draw before he turned around. “Follow me.” He tossed over his shoulder as he walked away.

Gadreel plastered a smile on his face as he followed Dean into the other room. It was just his luck his big moment with Sam would have to wait.

The smile on Gadreel’s face turned to one of genuine enjoyment as he watched Sam sitting on the couch, his head thrown back in laughter at something Castiel had whispered to him.

Sam’s laughter died away and a welcoming smile lit his eyes as he spotted Gadreel standing in the doorway watching him. “Hi.” He called across the room as he patted the seat beside him. 

The angel had barely sat down before Sam turned towards him. “Hi,” He whispered again as he leaned his head back offering his lips for a kiss.

No matter how much Gadreel told himself there were in the company of others and that he shouldn’t engage in anything untoward there was no way he could resist Sam’s invitation. “Hi, yourself.” He whispered just before he claimed Sam’s lips with his. He cupped Sam’s face in his hands as he deepened the kiss. 

A sound almost like a purr escaped Sam and echoed around them.

Castiel cleared his throat and quickly stood up. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to talk to Dean now. “And that is our cue to leave.” 

“Leave?” Dean’s mouth fell open as he rushed to stand up. “But I have hamburgers on the grill and more beer that’s getting frosty in the fridge, and not to mention the pies that are warming in the oven. We were going to...”

The angel bit back a smile as he straightened his tie. “We’re still leaving.”

“But...burgers and beer. And...and pie, Cas.” The delicious aroma wafted through the open door causing Dean to sniff appreciatively at the air, he could almost taste it. A sigh swept through him. 

As he stepped closer to Dean, Castiel glanced pointedly at Sam and Gadreel who sat lost in each other’s gaze. 

“Oh.” 

At the crestfallen look on Dean’s face Cas shook his head. “We have much to discuss ourselves.” 

“We do?” Curiosity warred with confusion on Dean’s face. At Castiel’s nod Dean quickly continued, “About what?”

Castiel took a deep breath and exhaled three times before he finally admitted, “About our relationship and angelic traditions.”

Confusion won out as Dean gazed at Castiel. “I don’t understand.”

"You will." Castiel promised with a smile on his face.

But Dean was in no mood to wait. He was confused and he hated feeling that way. If there was one thing he disliked it was being left out of the loop. "How?"

As Castiel's smile deepened he leaned closer. "“Do you remember our conversation from earlier?”

At the look of dawning on Dean’s face Castiel let the tips of fingers caress Dean’s cheek as he spoke. “It think it’s about time we talked, don’t you?”

Dean swallowed hard. “Way passed.”

“We’ll make sure the grill is off on our way out.” Castiel tossed over his shoulder as he continued to stare at the man in front of him. Castiel wasn’t sure if either of them heard anything he’d said at all as he grabbed Dean’s hand. And without another word Dean and Cas disappeared.

 

 _Angelic traditions?_ Gadreel’s head snapped up. _Had he heard him right? Was Castiel really going to do what he thought he was?_ The look he had glimpsed on Castiel’s face just before he had disappeared said it all. It looked as if he wasn’t going to be the only one going after forever with a Winchester. With a soft smile on his face Gadreel silently wished the other angel good luck.

At first Gadreel couldn't wait to tell Sam the way he was feeling, what he wanted but now he was thinking maybe he should wait. Despite being positive about what he wanted from Sam, for the both of them Gadreel couldn't stop the doubt from slowing running through his mind. If only he could be sure this was what Sam wanted too. Maybe he should wait just so he could make it more romantic for Sam, to help him understand the magnitude of what he wanted, what he was offering; he found he couldn’t. As soon as he was sure the others had left the room Gadreel knew that no matter what he couldn’t wait any longer. “There’s something I have to tell you.” He began to speak before he quickly shook his head. “I mean there’s something I have to ask you.”

Sam scooted even closer to him, his large hand smoothed the worry lines that seemed to etch in Gadreel’s forehead as he spoke. With his fingers still lingering against the angel’s skin Sam whispered, “You know you can tell me or ask me anything.”

Gadreel nodded as he took both of Sam’s hands in his and rushed to speak before doubts could cloud his mind again and he lost his nerve. “Angels have this tradition. Actually we have a lot of different ones but the one I...” His words stumbled across each other as he tried to explain. _Why was this so difficult for him to do?_ The nervous angel took a deep breath and tried again. “This tradition dates back to...” Once again his words trailed off. Sam didn’t really need to know when the tradition started at least not at this particular moment. “You know what? I think I’m much better at show than tell.” He let go of Sam’s hands before he stood up.

Worry and confusion warred for dominance on Sam’s face as he stared up at Gadreel. “What’s going on, Gadreel? What’s wrong?”

“It’s okay.” The angel’s voice was husky with unchecked emotion as he whispered, “Close your eyes.” 

“Gadreel.”

He reached out and ran his fingertips against Sam’s cheek. “You’ll understand everything in just a minute.” The pad of his thumb softly caressed Sam’s bottom lip. “Trust me.”

A soft smile curled Sam’s lips before he playfully bit the tip of the angel’s thumb. “I do.”

A low growl rumbled deep in Gadreel’s throat as he bit back a groan. “Then close your eyes.” He tried to repeat sternly. “And don’t open them until I tell you to.” He admonished quickly. Damaged his wings might be but he wouldn’t take the chance of hurting Sam. “Promise?”

“Yes. I promise.” Sam teased as his lips pulled upwards in a teasing grin.

It was too bad the youngest Winchester couldn’t see the answering smile on Gadreel’s face as he stared down at Sam. It would have shown him just how very much the angel loved him.

When he was positive Sam’s eyes were closed and he wasn’t peeking Gadreel backed into the center of the room and slowly unfurled his wings. 

As Gadreel stared at his feathers he couldn’t help but wish his were undamaged and breathtakingly beautiful, as they had been eons ago. But despite not being able to offer the best to Sam, he searched through his outspread wings looking for the least damaged one he had. 

A slightly less imperfect feather then the rest seemed to lean forward of it’s own accord. Almost as if to say _Pick me_. Gadreel took a deep breath before he gently grasped the feather and pulled. 

He had heard stories of the pain an angel had to endure when giving up one of his feathers but he hadn’t quite believed them. After all surely it couldn’t have hurt all that bad. _He was wrong._ The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

As the feather finally pulled free from his wings, Gadreel closed his eyes as he bit his lip to keep any sound from escaping. He didn’t want Sam to know what he was doing or how painful it actually was. 

“Gadreel?” Worry colored Sam’s voice. He knew the sound of muffled pain when he heard it. Sam wanted to open his eyes so he could see his angel, he needed to make sure he was okay but he’d promised that he wouldn’t look.

“Not yet.” Gadreel whispered through clenched teeth as he closed his wings and waited for the pain to subside.

Sam’s body practically hummed with curiosity as he sat waiting. He wished he knew what was going on. He couldn’t wait another minute, the suspense was killing him. Sam opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything the sound of Gadreel’s voice washed over him.

“You can open your eyes now.” No matter how hard he tried Gadreel couldn’t hide the nervousness in his voice.

As Sam opened his eyes a look of confusion crossed his face as he stared down at the imperfect but still incredibly beautiful feather in Gadreel’s hand. He raised his head to look the angel in the eyes. “I don’t understand.” _Why would Gadreel ask him to close his eyes so he could get a feather? Was it something sexual?_ He had thought their sex life was way above the average but maybe he was wrong.

This was the most serious moment in Gadreel’s life one that he would have only once in his existence but he still had to bite his bottom lip to keep from laughing at the look on Sam’s face. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind what Sam was thinking. Laughter pooled deep within him. Leave it to his hunter to lighten the mood even if he didn’t know he was doing it. It was only one of the thousands of reasons why he loved the man in front of him. “This isn’t for what you’re thinking, Sam.” Trying not to damage the feather any more than it already was Gadreel gripped it in his hand and held it out to Sam.

His confusion deepened as he glanced back at the feather. “Then what’s it for?”

“It’s for you... if you’ll have it.” At the look on Sam’s face a sigh escaped Gadreel and echoed around them. Maybe he wasn’t as good at show as he thought; it looked as if a little tell was in order. He took a deep breath and began to explain. “Angels have a tradition where we give one of our feathers to the one we...” His voice was husky with emotion as he continued, “To the one we love, the one who gives our existence meaning.” With love in his eyes he stared down at Sam as he took a step closer before he added, “It’s for the one we want to spend forever with.”

“This is one of your feathers...?” The question tumbled out of his mouth but before Gadreel could answer, Sam continued as it finally dawned on him what his angel was trying to tell him. His eyes lit with wonder. “As in it came from your wings?” At Gadreel’s nod and before he could stop himself he reached out and gently ran his fingers down the feather, caressing it softly.

“Yes.”

A low whistle escaped Sam. He couldn’t believe Gadreel had plucked out one of his own feathers. There was no way that it couldn’t have hurt. _That was the reason for the sound of muffled pain._ He wanted to take the angel in his arms and soothe the hurt away. But before he could act on the need it finally dawned on Sam what Gadreel had said. “You want forever with me?” His voice trembled.

“More than anything.” His voice was tight with emotion.

“I...”

As Sam opened his mouth to speak Gadreel quickly interrupted. He had to explain what it meant, how serious it was before Sam said anything. “Please think about it carefully before you answer. This isn’t like a ‘going steady’ ring or even a marriage proposal. This is something altogether different. For one it is more binding. If you accept my feather it means not only will our life here on earth be tied together but our souls will be entwined for all eternity. There’s no changing your mind or getting out of it later.” It took all of his willpower not to groan out load as he stared down at Sam’s hand still caressing the feather he held in his hand. He swallowed a groan before he continued, “It will be forever.”

An incredulous look crossed Sam’s face as he stared at the angel he loved more than anything. “You think I would change my mind or that I would want to get out of it?” He couldn’t believe Gadreel would even think such a thing.

“I would hope not but...” The confession tumbled from Gadreel’s lips. He swallowed hard before he continued, “My feathers aren’t perfect and I’m certainly not perfect.” A derisive snort escaped him at the massive understatement. “You deserve...” He paused and took a deep breath. “You deserve better. I wouldn’t blame you if...”

Sam shook his head as he quickly interrupted. “Don’t.” The word whispered across Gadreel’s skin like a caress. “Don’t you start doubting me, or us now. Not ever. We’ve come too far for that.”

As soon as Sam finished speaking Gadreel nodded his head. He knew Sam was right. They had come too far to start having any doubts about each other. “Will you...?”

Before Gadreel could finish the question Sam carefully plucked the feather out of his hand and stepped closer. “I want forever with you too.”

A wave of relief so strong his knees almost buckled with the force of it washed over Gadreel as Sam accepted his feather. “Please be sure, Sam.” His voice trembled as he pleaded. He didn’t think he could handle it if Sam changed his mind. “Are you?”

A brilliant smile lit Sam’s face as he nodded his head with more emphasis than was quite seemly. Forever with Gadreel was exactly what he wanted. “More than anything.”

With an answering smile curving his lips Gadreel closed the distance between them until there wasn’t a part of their bodies that weren’t touching. They were so close it felt as if their hearts had begun to beat as one.

Shimmering bright lights began to float around them as Gadreel slowly began to unfurl his wings. Gadreel didn't take his eyes off of Sam, his smile widening at the look in Sam's eyes as his wings unfolded.

Sam’s heart began to beat out a rapid tempo in his chest and he quickly closed his eyes.

Warm fingers brushed beneath his chin. “No. It’s okay. Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” It wasn’t that Sam didn’t trust him but he knew what kind of damage that seeing an angel in all its glory could do to a person. And it was only a few minutes ago when he had to close his eyes for this very thing.

He caressed Sam’s cheek with the tips of his fingers as he quickly reassured him. “I would never allow anything to hurt you including my own self. I promise to always keep you safe.” It was a promise Gadreel planned on keeping for the rest of his existence.

As soon as Sam opened his eyes and stared into his, Gadreel’s breath caught in his throat at the look of love and utter trust shining in Sam’s eyes. Happiness mixed with more contentment than he had ever had the pleasure of knowing swept through Gadreel as he pulled Sam tighter into his embrace. He couldn’t make himself look away as he threaded their fingers together until they were both holding the feather. He softly began to speak, “Where there is Sam there is Gadreel. And there is no Gadreel without Sam. So it shall be... Forever.”

Happiness spiked within Sam as he continued to stare into Gadreel's eyes and with a slight catch in his voice he began to repeat his angel's words. “Where there is Gadreel there is Sam. And there is no Sam without Gadreel. So it shall be... Forever.”

As their words died down Gadreel wrapped his arms even tighter around Sam's unresisting body and pulled him impossibly closer. Gadreel watched as Sam's face lit up with wonder as his wings slowly finished expanding behind him.

“But...?” 

A beautifully dazzling smile curved Gadreel’s lips as he stared down at the love of his eternity in his arms. “It’s okay, Sam. You’re safe. I would never hurt you. You have accepted me and that means you are a part of me now, bound to me forever. Neither I nor my wings will ever hurt you.”

Sam leaned his head back so he could take in all of Gadreel’s brilliance as his empty hand trembled he slowly reached behind Gadreel and gently caressed the spot where his wings met glorious golden skin. With his voice soft and full of wonder he whispered reverently, "You are so beautiful."

The angel couldn’t quite control the blush from spreading across his cheeks at Sam’s words. He had been called a lot of things over the years but never beautiful and certainly not with the tone Sam had used.

As Sam continued to gaze at Gadreel’s wings a thought occurred to him, although it was really more of a wish it was still one that he had never thought would come to fruition. _But maybe now it could._

“What is it?”

Without a trace of shyness in his eyes Sam told Gadreel his most fervent wish. “I’ve always wanted to be wrapped in your arms.” At the quizzical look on the angel’s face Sam continued, “The thought of being cradled in your wings was....” Sam shook his head. “But of course I knew that it was off limits and there was nothing you could do about it so I never said anything but now...” His voice became husky with need. “Do you think it would be okay if you..?”

 _He didn’t have to be asked twice._ Gadreel’s smile widened and without a word he carefully slipped his damaged and broken wings around Sam to cradle him close to his body. 

The feel of wings cradling him, caressing his body was like a dream. It had been his dream for so long that it almost didn’t feel real. A contented sigh escaped Sam as he laid his head on his angel’s shoulder as he whispered against his soft skin. “I love you, Gadreel.”

Soft, warm kisses fell on Sam’s forehead, eyes and nose, before Gadreel curled his fingers under Sam’s chin to urge him to look at him. As soon as Sam raised his head the angel stared into Sam’s eyes. He leaned his head even closer until their lips were almost touching and with his breath caressing Sam’s lips he whispered, “I love you more than you will ever know, Sam Winchester. Heaven alone only knows how much.”

“I think I do know.” Sam’s voice was husky and cracked with emotion.

 _Maybe he did at that._ Gadreel smiled with happiness as he teased playfully, “But I really wouldn’t bet on it.” 

As Sam open his mouth to speak Gadreel quickly leaned down and captured Sam’s lips with his in a soul-binding kiss effectively ending any more thoughts of talking. 

Lost in love’s embrace neither of them noticed as Gadreel’s broken and damaged wings, wrapped tightly around Sam, shimmered brighter as they began to heal from the force of their love.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Art] The Feather](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925974) by [Nonexistenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/pseuds/Nonexistenz)




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